I LOVE YOU

Let's not call it a night yet,
But dream of those days,
When we spoke about 'us',
In different beautiful ways.
In our seperate worlds,
We walked the same earth,
Also flew,but in seperate skies.
We spoke of a bright blue love,
A love with two facets,
Yours blinding,mine blinded.
Yours shone clear and bright,
Mine floated among the clouds,
Toyed by the winds of change,
Even storm tossed,but unswept.
Do memories come gushing,
To you too,threatening to break,
The walls and loosen,
The carefully woven restraints?!
Lest love be drowned,
Along with the voice of reason,
Lest it should turn yellow, 
Like the leaves in autumn,
 I"ll let it rest in that corner soft.
Away from envy,fear and greed,
Tears of regret and also of grief.
Don't hold me against me,
It's me,for you.....for sweetheart,
           I love you,too.
                               Chandni

Etched

The yellowed picture, 
In a shattered frame, 
Pretty,all the same. 
Beaming smiles sublime, 
Stilled and frozen in time. 
The jagged edges slit, 
The trailing fingers,they bleed. 
Crimson, the contours traced,
Ablush,as if by life embraced. 
A portrait drenched in tears, 
Of those,devoid of earthly fears. 
Moth eaten and edges frayed, 
Still precious to those who bled. 
No less,memories captured,
Solace,to those broken,fractured. 
Chandni. 

Blocked

My pen no longer bleeds,
Neither draws blood,
Its  aversion to ink is palpable,
It's weak and ineffectual,
Blank papers are a testimony,
To its incapacitated soul.
I cannot command it,
To carve out an ink trail,
When darkness abounds within,
How do I illuminate its path?
All I do is promise a little hope.
Clung to that assurance,
Everyday it subjects itself-
To a relentless struggle,
Of exhuming its old habit,
Lying lifeless in the coffin,
Wrapped in the shroud,
Of indifferent inspiration.
Chandni.

Struck

My heart, a buzzing garden, 
 Buttercups brimming with manna, 
The bees drink to the dregs, 
The well of joy drained dry. 
When I am left to wander, 
With faltering measured steps, 
Through the ever crowded dark
A glow worm sneaks in, 
Trailing , slivers of light. 
I cling to the ray of hope, 
I ride it,brandishing the glimmer, 
Like a dawn struck gleaming rapier, 
To chase the monstrous dark, 
Out of my aphotic world. 
Alas! the lurking monster, 
On the glowworm fed, 
Leaving the fluttering life wounded. 
I am drenched in blood, 
Gushing out of the fountains, 
Springing out of the cracks, 
Criss crossed on the landscape
Of my rain abandoned heart. 
 Chandni. 

Fate

The last hope lies on the dust, 
The parched mouth latched onto the dried bust, 
The twisted fingers cleaving the air, 
Dying to claw open the sky, unfair. 
But the rain is out of reach, 
A forked soul, the heart abreach, 
A sudden gust of breeze, waylaid--
Stills sighs, grey and muted, 
Shiver-streaked,limbs jarred, 
Into a frenzy,shaken and stirred, 
The strain of a minstrel perched, Through it's veins quietly rushed, 
A grateful head bent but heart soaring, 
Stretches arms,to clouds pouring, 
Wash the gloom, glued to the skin, 
Feels the stir of the impatient green. 
Though the autumn,on it will again fall, 
Though winter-struck,it'll still stand tall,  
It will still wait for many more springs,
And the hues,each one brings. 
Then one day,it'll be lightening- struck, 
Rooted still, ghostly, charred, bone and bark! 
                        
Chandni

Tawang

I have never been to Kashmir.I have only heard that it is a paradise on earth.Must be.But I have been to Tawang,in Arunachal Prsdesh and I am sure that is what paradise must look like!
       I will never know,what got over us to plan a trip to Tawang in the month of January when it would be absolutely freezing there.However,as planned the necessary arrangements were made and we set out for Tezpur,a town about 400 kms from our hometown,Dibrugarh.We stayed the night there and next morning ,very early,we began our journey,by road ,to Tawang.Three excited souls,me,and two of my cousins, my  husband and another cheerful soul,the person who was driving ,occupied the car.The drive through the plains is always pleasant ,in the north-eastern parts of this country. I think Nature is the greenest in this part of the world.Gradually,the plains began to give way to undulating terrains.Towards tI he latter part of the day,we were actually climbing low hills through bends,but not very sharp ones.The man at the wheels informed us that the test of our nerves was yet to begin!The three of us sniggered at his dramatics (Yes,that's what we thought it was).Anyway,at around 4 in the evening we reached a place called Dirrang.We had to halt there for the night .We were taken to a 'hotel'which,though not a very encouraging habitable proposition. incidentally served us such delicious dinner that we immediately made up our mind to revisit it on our way back.
       The real journey began the next morning.Once again it was an early morning start.It was a climb all the way up through hairpin bends.The narrower than the narrow roads and sharp turns, were gradually taking their toll on our enthusiasm.         However,soon we were back to our excited selves when we encountered snow fall.The drizzling snow flakes were irresistible. We had to get out of the car to feel them.Our guide and driver was kind enough to stop the car for a while,though reluctantly.Evidently,our sneakers were not fit for walking on the fairly thick layer of snow.We had our first tumble on the white sheet.It was hilarious for us and worrysome for my husband,who was watching us from the safety of the car.However,we had to reach our destination before it grew dark.Our drive was slower than a snail's pace and I am not exaggerating.Beyond the edges of the roads there was nothing but gaping voids.A minute miscalculation on the part of the driver and the vehicle would skid into oblivion.Brakes couldn't be used for the fear of the car swerving over.We were pretty much convinced that only prayers could get us through this!That I am here,recalling the anxious ride is only due to the expertise of the driver.God bless him!
      The drive might have been filled with anxious moments but it was worth it,given the beauty that nature had laid out for us.Trees draped in white and the glistening mountain tops basking in the glory of the sunrays, were a visual delight!
    Finally,when we reached the Tawang town,the sun was on its way out.Earlier, in the excitement and anxiety of the journey,we hadn't realised how cold it was.Even as we got out of the car, the freezing cold pierced us through layers and layers of woollens. I have always liked winters,snow,rainfall but when it is -4 degrees and your teeth are chattering, your liking takes a serious beating.To make matters worse,due to the temporary absence of electricity,the room heaters were not working.When we hit the sack, it felt like laying down on the snow itself.The pillows were like bricks of ice. I am sure if we had to go without the heaters all  night, we would have been frozen to the bones.
    The morning unfolded another story.When we looked out of the window, the car was covered in a blanket of snow. Looked around and saw icicles hanging from the edges of the roofs,the streets,a pristine white.Had seeen scenes like that, only in pictures! As far as eyes could see,it was only driven snow.Even the greens wore white!
    Of all the places we went to,two places are etched in the memory - one,the Sella Pass and the other, the Buddhist monastery.
   Sella Pass, located at a height of 14000 ft is a world in itself.I am not too sure what made me more breathless,the lack of oxygen or the picturesque landscape!As I stood at that height,I looked up and for the first time I felt as if the sky was within my reach.The only sound was the whistling of the not-so-gentle breeze. Not a soul,besides us were around. We could have been the only living beings on the face of the earth. Spell bound,we became one with the serenity.If it were not for the growl of a distant bear (we had been warned against their possible presence) we might have never thought of getting back to the earth, so to speak. We were also told not to tarry there for long,because we were very close to the China border and if the sentinels, across the border,
happened to spot us,they might not be too thrilled at our presence. So, we had to make a hasty retreat.But,personally speaking,I left a part of me there.
     Another destination, closer to the earth, was the Buddhist monastery,which had us completely awestruck.Set amidst the snow clad mountains, the place compels you to bare your soul to the Divinity of Nature. A sprawling wooden structure,the sparkling Buddha and the soft chants of a congregation of monks,hold you spellbound ; not to mention the hospitality of the resident monks,their enthusiasm to show you around and narrate the history of the place.
     There are places which leave you with no choice but to surrender yourself to it.Even as you bid a farewell to it,you know you are leaving a part of yourself there.Tawang has been one such experience. It's been quite a few years since the visit , but memories made there,are as vivid as ever.I cannot boast of possessing an elephantine memory.On the contrary, I forget things very fast.Considering the fact that Tawang stands out in my merory,I guess it is selectively photographic!
    Much as I would like to visit Tawang again, I don't think I have the courage to undertake the journey through those narrow winding roads,once again. Having said that,I wish all travel lovers would make it a point to visit Tawang,if not for anything else,for the sheer pleasure of experiencing the splendour of a heavenly destination!
Chandni.
     
   
 

Love

The winter's path is long and hoary 
The grey skies tell a gloomy story,
Come,sit with me at the forest's edge,
To watch the day hide behind the hedge,
And how,in the moon's frozen light,
Cold stars cling on to the ghostly night.
Can you hear the wind-borne distant wailing?
That's time,mourning that winter evening,
When we'd promised to be one beating heart;
But now,death keeps us apart.
But I'll be here when you return,
Till then my winters,in my love,will burn.
Chandni

Unfrozen

She could feel her days turning dark.Her dreams took flight,but on worn out wings.She sat there all alone in her room,listening to the echoing drops of trickling tears and whispered sighs.She knew she needed to free her frost bitten soul.She picked up her sadness and went out for a stroll through the corn field in the vicinity.Her fingers caressed the sun kissed sheaves. They tickled her smiles. She felt her grief melt and the birds on her tattooed arm,stirring.At last she was them.....free!
Chandni